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Frog Tails Day 3It was ten o'clock. Dad's plane had left around 18:00 or 19:00, which meant that he was still in the air. I could never remember how long the drive to the airport was, I mean, it wasn't like I went there often, but he'd left a copy of his flight criteria, so I knew exactly how long the flight was. Seven hours and fifty-seven minutes. My dad was probably spending every second of it either trying to get comfortable or scribbling on the airsickness bag with his favorite ballpoint pen.

As for me… Well, I was lying with my back on the couch cushions and my legs draped over the back of the couch. My head didn't quite touch the floor, bu

Frog Tails Day 1"Place your trust in the spoken word
Love is more effective as a verb
Keep your head above the mob
Don't let them steal your faith from God"

My dad wrote that. He was a poet once, though it's a rare person who could pass on that information. When I asked him why he stopped writing poems, he said that when my mother died, his muse left him to become a drunk so he wouldn't do that to me. A poet he remains, but his pen embraced the less artistic role of signing checks and field trip permission slips a long time ago.

It had been quite a few years since the last permission slip. Signatures were still something he had to offer me, however.

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Submitted: July 16, 2007
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Rice Testby ~Kid-Apocalypse

Cartoons & Comics / Digital Media / Comics / Strips

The context in which the doodle belongs.

As the title and lineart-stage indicate, this is practice in....a couple of things. Comic formatting, backgrounds, and illustrating a concept. As such, I really need constructive criticism. I need to know what I should change/work on and why--but also what works and why. The plea for "advanced critique" is turned on here for a reason.

I've gotten four hours of sleep in the last forty-one hours. SuPriNo is at.... 29 thousand-something, I think I have drawn Chopstick McGee more than any other character in my history, and I've been more serious in these paragraphs than I meant to.

~Paladin343 Jul 19, 2007 Hobbyist General Artist

I agree with Mayaj. I saw the blade before I saw who was talking in the second panel. Otherwise, I like the detail and the slightly Wonderland-ish... how do I explain this... the shift. It's not quite normal though it may seem so at first. We see a boy on a... sofa? Mattress? with a poster on the wall and a clock and what might be a lamp-post to one side. Then the oddity starts.

~Kid-Apocalypse Jul 19, 2007

Then, as it's unanimous, the second panel will be redone. Thank you.

That's a very insightful estimation. I like it.

(Chopstick is a girl, though

just too young to have a girlish figure)

~Paladin343 Jul 27, 2007 Hobbyist General Artist

Ah... I see. Is she the one I just hugged in "Thicker than Water"?

~Kid-Apocalypse Jul 28, 2007

I just did the first half of her real first comic page today. Uh, yesterday. I'm not sure, days pass weird for me.

~Paladin343 Jul 28, 2007 Hobbyist General Artist

Oh, same. If I didn't have work I'd be wondering whether it was Tuesday or Friday.

~Kid-Apocalypse Jul 29, 2007

YES. Work makes one insane. GAH. thank heaven for my sketchbook and ten-minute breaks....

~Paladin343 Jul 29, 2007 Hobbyist General Artist

...I was thinking more along the lines of one day runs into the other in summer usually, unless it's Sunday. When I have work, I have to remember what day it is.

I get a fifteen-minute break, but only one. Fifteen minutes gets really short when I'm trying to eat lunch or dinner with enough time to cool off (usually literally).

~Kid-Apocalypse Jul 31, 2007

For me it's because I work from 10:00pm to 6:30am the next day, and then I go to sleep.

They'd get sued if we only got one break--most of them are only five minutes, but still. We get lunch, too.

(1 Reply)

*Hagge Jul 19, 2007 Professional General Artist

I'd go with Maya as far as character placing...other thing is, perhaps, just change the font or writing of Jone's speech...make it different from everyone else's...
The other thing...for more impact for the other character...slightly placed to the side or angled diff'rently in the panel to indicate further stress.
But I should talk. No one will ever see my comics...

~Kid-Apocalypse Jul 19, 2007

:writing much down: Jones's speech difference is a hard thing to get across here since he's the only one who actually speaks, so I'll have to get another strip done to test that... Thanks. Maybe a mock-up with just some one-liner situations.

Which panel do you mean? The first or the last? And by angled, do you mean drawn at a different angle or just moved to be off-center?

This is very not my arena, which is why I'm asking you guys.

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