David v Jessie

David: Okay, found my notes.
Jessie: You actually made notes?
David: Yeah.  I have trouble reading, not writing.
Jessie: ...I'm gonna give you a second to let that sink in.
David: Okay, just for that, I'm gonna go ahead and ask you the forbidden question.
Jessie: Terrifying.
David: Alright, first question--How old are you?
Jessie: That's stupid.  You know exactly how old I am.
David: Yeah, but they don't.
Jessie: They who?
David: Whoever.  Just answer the question.
Jessie: I don't see why you can't do it.
David: Because it's my job to ask the questions.
Jessie: Okay fine.  I'm seventeen.
David: Good job.  If it takes that long to answer each question, we're never gonna get outta here.
Jessie: Hey, this was your idea, I could be doing a million better things.
David: So seventeen is pretty young to be in the inventing circuit.  Could you share a few of your experiences in that area?
Jessie: Well, I wouldn't say I'm really "in the circuit", I mean, it's not like I hold any patents.
David: Bullcrap, you're always working on something.  Fr'instance, that thing you're doing now.  The talking mirror.
Jessie: Oh, that.  It's part of a series of physical apps I have planned.  They're small devices about the size of your hand that add functionality to any number of nondigital objects.  Speech is a feature common between much of them.
David: Where'd that idea come from?
Jessie: Well, I noticed that a lot of people talk to their stuff.  Some sing in the shower, argue with the television, or swear at the mirror.  But all of that is still on paper.
David: I could do with a talking skateboard.
Jessie: Maybe someday.  The way you ride, you'd be constantly bringing it back to me for repairs.
David: I'd get 'em for free, right?
Jessie: Mostly free.  I'd still bill you for parts.
David: Hard-nose.
Jessie: Cheapskate.
David: Do you have any influences or role models?  I mean, aside from Tesla and Faraday.  I've already seen posters of them on your workshop wall.
Jessie: Do you mean contemporary inventors?
David: Yeah.  Are there any more modern guys who inspire you?
Jessie: That's not a long list.  I can only think of one, but he's a genius.  I could work my entire life and never be good enough to email him.
David: Wow, this is the first I've heard of him.  Do you subscribe to a magazine or something?  Eggheads and Wrenches?
Jessie: You're a dork.
David: Ow, don't punch me.  Really though, what's this guy's name?
Jessie: Sigurd Conrad.  And I didn't read about him in a magazine, he's all over the internet.  He's got his own website, urdplay.
David: Does he invent games?
Jessie: He's done everything.  Software, hardware--you know that electronic butler in all the new smart houses?
David: The ones that are actually kind of affordable?  I think they're installing the cheapest versions into my apartment complex.
Jessie: His idea.
David: Awesome.  No wonder you look up to him.
Jessie: Yeah...
David: But hey, you've come up with some cool stuff.  What about the self-maintaining oven?
Jessie: Way to bring up the only thing I've ever made that works.
David: What about smart shoes.
Jessie: Those were just sneakers with a radio built into the sole.
David: But they worked.  Even in the rain!
Jessie: Heh, thanks for testing them.
David: I'm the world's best guinea pig, what can I say.
Jessie: Are we done with this interview thing yet?
David: Sure, just two more questions.
Jessie: Shoot.
David: Are there any ice cream sandwiches left in the freezer, and can I have one?